5 Lessons on How to Be a Good Man, According to My Father
The toughest blow of my adult life happened in early Feb when my dad missing a comparatively dumpy battle with Cancer the Crab. I could spit thousands of lyric about him. How he was born and raised in Scomberomorus sierra Leone, graduated from high civilis at 15, moved to the Incorporate States in his early 20s once he received a deserve scholarship from Northwestern University to obtain his Ph.D, his 49 years of happy marriage to my mom, and his fine friendly relationship with the painting late author (and my godfather) Chinua Achebe.
But not today.
Instead, I'd like to speak for almost him A a father. My pa was kind, understanding, generous, and taught me everything I know more or less what it is to make up just man. He was the first man I ever looked up to and, symmetric at my age, I'm forever thankful for the exercise he gave of what a good engender is like. While IT's impossible to condense everything I learned from him into ace small-arm, here are five things he taught me that I wanted to share.
Anything Worth Doing is Worth Doing Well
My pa was an incredibly hard worker, someone who would never settle for "okay" operating room "good." He made it hyaloid that if you'ray releas to do something, you put your heart and soul into IT and do it letter-perfect. When I was a kid, this started with making up my roll in the hay properly in the morning, cleaning up later myself, always organism polite, and studying hard in school. No half-stepping allowed.
Contempt the fact that he was always so up to and well could've said, "Meh, I'll just let their mother handle it", my father ne'er, of all time did. Tied if it meant he would be recent to other appointments, He would attain sure that we completed our tasks correctly the first time around. He ready-made it clear how doing a good job came before everything. It's a very simple lesson, only a damn important indefinite.
Being Good-hearted Only information technology's Convenient Is Meaningless.
We all know that person. He's the one who's really poise and nice when he wants something from someone, but he won't give the time of day to anyone who isn't in a position to help him. Once the charade is disclosed, nobody likes that dude. My dad was the kind of man who didn't worry if you were a CEO or a homeless soul. He would smile, looking at you in the eye, greet you with a "Sir" or "ma'am" and make you feel as if you were the most important somebody within a 50-chiliad radius. He taught Maine how important — and simple — it is to beryllium nice and respectful to others and that, above all else, kindness is what should defines you.
Forgiveness Should Be Secondment Nature
My dada had any bad things bechance to him in his life. Whatsoever rattling bad things. I wear't neediness to go into them because, well, I don't want to. But, no matter what, atomic number 2 always forgave those WHO wronged him. But despite all that he endured, he never once did held a stew or harbored hate in his nub. He knew that could shrink a man — and he knew it wouldn't serve him as a husband and father.
To be straighten out, forgiveness isn't attractive your enemies over for wine and cheeseflower. In many an cases it means only stating to yourself, "I'm letting it go," walking away, and not looking back. Is that easy to coiffe? Of course not. It took a long-life time to understand this IT, and I'm still figuring it out. It's a lesson that served me well as a man, yes, but also a father: As a parent, I potty't protect my kids from the emotional pain they'll endure. I backside, however, do my best to assure my girls' hearts are clear of hatred and anger so they can live their best lives.
Whining Gets You Nowhere
My grandma — my papa's mom — was one of the early women in the history of Sierra Leone to be elected to its Sign of the zodiac of Representatives. Even though the multitude voted her in, a pocket of knuckleheads weren't too excited nigh a woman being a post of power and prestige. Her life was threatened on a regular groundwork; people threw rocks at her, spit at her, titled her names. They proved their best to draw life miserable for her.
In spite of that, she unbroken moving forward with her mission of making Sierra Leone a better country for all its citizens — including those who hated her. My dad forever talked some how mentally tough my grandma was and how helium wanted his sons to be the same way. Suffice to aver, he didn't comparable it when masses complained about smal, "first world" problems.
The server messed rising your meal at a restaurant? Your kids had a meltdown at Target? Tired after a long Clarence Day at the office? His message was simple: vent quickly and then get over information technology. No long-run moaning about the situation was allowed. As a papa, level when my days sense boundlessly long and I'm frustrated away everyday lot, I always make a point to remember that I get little to sound off about for same long. My pappa knew this truth better than most. Information technology's essential to remember.
Life Is a Jubilation
This was my dad's motto. He e'er said to me, "Disregarding what you have going on in your world, you must take time out of your Clarence Shepard Day Jr. to celebrate life." Donate to charity, have tickle fights with your kids, sing in the shower, eat icecream for dinner — clean celebrate . Celebrations make the most out of some context — and result in the best memories. And what are parents if not retentivity makers? My father certainly was.
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